Conflicted, adventure-sick, Homebody in search of The Road Less Travelled

Having a good case of ADHD will lead to a lot of tangents, even while thinking.

I drove into the city this morning because I've trying to snag a free parking spot near school, and, finding no luck I got to work about 20 minutes early instead. I parked in a lot that has diagonal spots up against a fence. I figured since most of the construction workers were over near the buildings that I would be fine parking next to a big utility truck. Wrong. Only minutes later did another utility vehicle park on the other side of me and men in hard hats and bright yellow t-shirts were huddled by the back of my car. Sigh.

Since I had time to kill I ignored this, and hoped that they would go away at some point and allow me a chance to escape. Again, wrong. Mere seconds after all, but one, of the workmen were gone, that the remaining guy decided to use my rear-windshield as a clipboard...
Then more of them started to come back...
I wasn't really sure what to say or do at this point, but since my car was no longer being written on I decided to make my move and run for it. Guess they were oblivious to my presence, cause they all looked a little dumbfounded when I opened my door...

While I had been sitting there, though, growing more and more anxious, I thought of what I could do, open my door and, sarcastically, say "Can I help you?" to the guy using my rear-windshield? did he know I was there? did he care? should I care? I mean, if I wasn't in my car then I'd say, hell, use the hood!
I'm just going with the assumption that he had no idea I was in the car to begin with...

This got me thinking about what I've heard called "The New England Reserve" and how, compared to out West, in say, California, we here in New England have a very cold and isolated attitude towards others, whereas out West they are very open and welcoming to complete strangers.
Though, maybe it is just Mass, because an old friend of my grandparents visited the other day and he lived in Maine for a long time and was talking about how in Maine drivers are more relaxed and understanding when people are lost, taking a left-hand turn, driving...and how down here, well, we're not called Massholes for nothin'!

It makes me wonder if I wouldn't have been so nervous had I been raised in a different society, if I would have just opened my door and said "Hi" struck up a conversation with the guy. My mother probably would have, if being from New England v.s. Cali were different races my mother would be half and half I feel (though, she was born and bred in Mass) but her attitude on certain situations is completely different, where on the one hand she can be very cold and distant from strangers, she can also be very friendly and outgoing. I hid in my room when repair men came to our house, she was making coffee and asking about their life story...

Recently a friend of mine told me he's applying to schools out in California, Colorado, west-coast area, this made me a little jealous, and it also made me angry, not at him, but at myself.
When I was looking at graduate schools I applied to Naropa out in Boulder, CO. I applied, got an interview, went out there with my Gram, got accepted, and then turned the offer the down.
It was GORGEOUS out there, I loved it, it was fresh and new, and the traffic engineering was amazing. But, in the end the program really wasn't what I wanted, and I felt too many ties keeping me here on the east-coast. I also was lacking in support from certain people in my life, but that's a whole different story.
I kick myself for this choice regularly.

Even so, the reasons I stayed are still up front and center.
For starters, I've never lived anywhere but Mass, I have relatives all over the country, but the ones I care about the most are all here, and I wasn't sure I would be able to handle being so far away, especially if something were to happen.

I also wanted to jump right into grad-school, not give myself anytime to dilly-dally, and while Naropa did have an art therapy program (I had applied for their contemplative psych program) I would have to wait another year to apply cause it was past the deadline by then, so I applied here, I did the undergrad here so why not the grad-program? They had what I wanted anyway, which is rare, and it's not like I wouldn't get in, right?

I justified it all with saying even though I was still in this damn city, which I do love for the most part, that grad-school would be different, and it is, but, sometimes you need to do something drastic and crazy to kick-start the changes and goals you want in your life, and staying here has only nudged mine so far, which is a tease, poking at them as if saying "You can only get so far here! You stayed within your comfort zone, you took the easy way out!"