Salsa Success!

I have to say I am proud of myself. I actually got off my lazy butt and made the salsa! :D
After a long day of (mostly) sitting around, then going to the gym, etc. I was thinking "I am soooooo exhausted...maybe I will skip the salsa...::mumblemumblesomethinglame::" but then, instead, I told myself to look up the ingredients (as I still needed to go to the store, which, luckily, is about a 2 minute walk from my house) and I went and bought them, so then, of course I HAD to use them!
The chopping and dicing took a lot of time (like, I said, time consuming) and I was actually sure if I had bought a jalepeno, as the signs in the produce section weren't very well organized...but after one little nibble I know, definitely a jalepeno!
I used tomatoes and onion from my grandmothers garden. Garlic-scapes that she had bought, an orange pepper, cilantro, jalepeno, salt, pepper and a dash of lemon juice. Came out ok, maybe not as much cilantro next time, I don't have much any experience using it...though I also didn't measure anything, just kind of tossed it all together, so maybe tomorrow I will experiment more...cause it was good enough to try again!
ate it with tortilla chips with melted muenster cheese (the only other cheese besides goat cheese that I can eat safely)

Me & My Ambition

I will be embarking on a new project, as soon as I get home today and get to the grocery store.

I have been saying for the last few years that I would like to cook more(or just learn for starters...), as my culinary skills, to date, include; pasta with sauce, egg salad, soup, poached eggs...yeah, a lot of boiling, basically, not really cooking.

Despite my aversion to any real work in the kitchen I own a crazy amount of cookbooks, a few of which I actually purchased! Among them the title What to Eat When You Can't at Anything, that I found at a local earthy-crunch store.
I bought it because I have been there and done that, from lactose-intolerance to sensitivity to cooking oils (i.e. anything made in a restaurant....) my stomach is just a bitch. Have I used this aptly titled gem?
You guessed it, no.

I also have countless recipes pulled from magazines and the internet. I aspire to make these things, eat these things, actually cook something...but I have not, why?
Cooking is like a dog, or a child, I guess, it requires constant attention, encouragement, time, not that I don't think these things need all of this, they do, but I am usually lacking the attention and/or patience. I've walked away from a pot of soon-to-be-hardboiled-eggs and forgotten about them until I hear the sizzle of the water spilling over.

Well, what am I going to do?
I am tired of eating already-prepared food, and I'm sure it's not helping my stomach issues to boot.
So, today, when I get home, I am going to sit down and go through my pile of cookbooks and recipes and make a list, and on my free nights I am going to choose one recipe and make it. I say my free nights because I have work some nights and other such things, but with a goal and my will I am going to teach myself something, goddammit.

Tonight's endeavor is already found, and simple to start. Salsa Mexicana, not cooking per se, but it requires buying ingredients, preparing them, etc. Something I am not used to doing.

Wish me luck!

Facebook v.s. My mom

Recently my mom an I were discussing Facebook. The topic started with dilemma of when one should post a change in relationship status after a break-up and also the reaction and comments that might follow on that "status".
My mom just looked like at me like I was speaking a different language and shook her head, saying, "That concept is just too weird for me, I don't think I get it."

I have had a Facebook for about 5 or so years, my mother just got one a year ago, maybe? The concept of changing a relationship status, or something of that nature, and people commenting on it seemed very alien to her. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it because there was a time when I did not have a Facebook, so it's not that I would have found it strange, because I wouldn't have been presented with the situation in the first place.
Yet I suppose it is because Facebook, for the twenty-something, is a crucial part of the social life, whereas my mother set up her Facebook and left it, periodically checking it, but not really doing much. It is just something to look at, not something to communicate with all of her friends with.

Social networks are strange, overall. Speaking with a friend recently about the same issue we both confessed to hating Facebook, while at the same time being ridiculously attached to it. It's just so hard to stay feel connected without it, these days.

My mothers last word on the subject was "Well, I guess when I was your age my parents thought I did strange things that they didn't understand, like premarital sex..."

This is why my mom is awesome.

My tangents flow like a river

A lot of things running through my mind as of late.

In the forefront of my brain is something from my horoscope yesterday, that basically said I might not get everything done to my satisfaction that day, but in the process I would learn something about myself and what it is that makes me productive and motivates me.
Now, I'm not saying that my horoscope was right, I mostly use them as a guideline for the day, and they're just fun to read.
And, true, I didn't get everything done to my satisfaction yesterday, but even before yesterday I was thinking about what and how I like to do things. I used my horoscope as not a predictor but more of a a different perspective to look at.

What am I most successful with?

I like a creative challenge, especially if I am learning something new. I like organization, especially if it involves consolidating.

Let's take the organization aspect.

Some of the few little pleasures I have when I am working on a collage is trimming away edges, making things less and less, being able to throw away a pile of scraps, making my collection of magazines and images smaller and smaller. (it also feels gratifying knowing it is all recyclable) The same with writing letters, getting rid of cards and envelopes, stickers and stamps, etc.
Even coupons, more paper, I am not that miffed when I miss a deadline because that just means I can toss the expired ones and have less slippery pieces to deal with.

I would say "I think..." but in reality I KNOW this has got to be linked to the streak of hoarding that the woman in my family have, and my resistance against it, my constant feeling of being surrounded by clutter. Yet there are things I can't seem to throw away.
Especially with paper, dear god, so much paper.
Magazines and sketchbooks, journals and stationary, envelopes and post-cards, knitting and sewing patterns, old poetry, old stories, old drawings, old dreams. Stacks of memorabilia that I cannot do anything with without a scrapbook. Most of it from a time before I knew the importance of dating everything. My childhood and adolescence blurring into a murky soup of ages 7-15 "or around that time frame..."
I take some many photos to document, try and cut back on the actual physical items I collect, or of things I get rid of, but photos still take up space, either virtual or otherwise.
For the most part it is organized right now, I discovered the joy of plastic sleeves and binders, though at the moment they have become a catchall. Poems and writings that I will "look through later" all nice and neat in their spot, no real order though, less than half of those scraps have been dated. I am tempted to type them all up, though with that idea lurks the fear of endless doubles, my computer and external harddrive still in a jumbled mess of duplicates and extras. Another fear is the loss of the original copy, as I would want to toss all the paper once I had it all in text.
In the end, it will happen, it has to happen, I know I will forget about all the scraps of paper (I forget about them all the time and they exist all the time in my dining room) but it will be a slow process, cleaning out my computer, typing everything up, checking for duplicates, checking for edited copies, backing everything up, for no matter what form you have something in, it can be destroyed. Paper can burn, tear, mold, deteriorate, and computers are no better, hard-drives can crash, CD's can scratch, viruses...

Really, nothing is forever.


But, back to my original thought, that even I had forgotten in this rambling.
How I like to do things, what I like to do.
My biggest question: pursuing the field of expressive therapies? People and feelings aren't very easy to organize, and a new knitting or sewing project is usually something I adventure into on my own.
Is this really what I want to do?